THIS IS MY WHY

September 2024, I started seeing a doctor for shortness of breath when I would walk basically to the mailbox and sometimes even shorter distances. I wanted to be able to exercise and hike again.

November 25, 2024, was a turning point for me. I got up at 5:00 am and my leg was hurting like I had a major cramp. I dressed in the dark, as I had showered the night before, and went to my new job that I had started two weeks prior.  Got to the job and it was still hurting.  Started my workday at 7:00 am, and about 9:00 am, I went to the restroom and was going to the break room, but my leg hurt so bad I could not walk around to the break room.  I asked my trainer to come to my desk, and I told her I felt I needed to go to the Emergency Room.  My original intention was to go after work if I felt worse during the day.  We looked at my lower leg and it was swollen and cold to the touch.

Drove myself to the Emergency Room and had them bring a wheelchair out to me, as I knew I could not walk in. They started testing only to find my body was blood clot city.  Research/testing showed Pulmonary Embolisms (PE) in both lungs and a blood clot from my knee to my ankle. They took out the blood clot in my leg and put a stent in on November 25, 2024.  Four hours after surgery and laying flat, my blood pressure dropped and I was given Cardioplumonary resuscitation (CPR).  

Thankfully, no broken bones!!! God decided to have me stay on earth.  He has a plan and I just have to follow it.  

December 5, 2024, I got out of the hospital and had to rely on oxygen.

On December 10, 2024, I was terminated from my new job because they “could not accomodate me with oxygen”. Of course, they did not put it in writing, but that is what was told me on the phone.  I was working a hybrid desk job.  Hybrid meaning I would work one week in the office scanning and the next week I would work at home indexing the work on the computer.  This was a dream job!

December 28, 2024, I was back in a different Emergency Room, as my legs had swollen again and my toes had turned blue and cold again.  This time the testing and research showed a side diagnosis of Chronic Thromboembolism Pulmonary Hypertension (CTEPH).  

January 7, 2025, I was released from this hospital still with oxygen and now with the only FDA approved medicine for CTEPH, which is a specialty drug.  I cannot just walk into Walgreens and request my medicine to be refilled.

So in January, I hired a lawyer to help me apply for Social Security Disability.  I applied for food stamps and Medicaid since I do not have a job nor insurance.I asked assistance from several churches in the community.  I put in applications and make phone calls for potential jobs just about every day of the week.

As I just told someone that said, “Praise the Lord, you are better!”  I said, “No, what I have will never be better.  I do not lie to myself that way.  On the outside my body does not look bad to others, but the inside is deteriorating.  People cannot see what I feel.”  It is up to God when my time to go, and I just have to let him use me and keep trying to be positive about everything.

April 1, 2025, I went to the pulmonologist today.  I have two kinds of blood clots in my lungs.  I have acute blood clots, and I have chronic blood clots.  For example, driving down a road and you have a car that is in the way, but

you can drive around it.  That car is one of those types of blood clots.  Then you come across a car that there is no way at all around it, and this would be the second kind of blood clot.

How does this get fixed?  There are three possible ways in my case.  

The first (pending tests to show that I am a candidate of surgery is: OPEN HEART/LUNG SURGERY.  If I am a candidate, my Pulmonologist will reach out to a group of specialists and depending on insurance, I will either be have surgery at Mayo - Jax, FL or Advent - Orlando, FL.

The second way is to continue taking all my meds for the rest of my life, which will help some, but will not allow me to go without oxygen and exercise without getting out of breath.

The third is to do a cath-like procedure and use a balloon to open the arteries of my lungs.  This will not take away the blood clots though so effectively will be similar to the second way.

I am praying I am a candidate for surgery even though I am no fan of pain. The doctor did say that if I get to do the surgery I would be walking the next day, I would feel really good after my recovery, and I would not have to be on oxygen nor most of my meds.

No matter which process I have to take, I will always be on blood thinners, which I have been told ever since November 25^th, the first day I went to the ER/Hospital in Middleburg.

That being said, I have turned to being a Mary Kay Independent Beauty Consultant, homemade jewelry and anything else to provide an income till SSI or a job comes through. In the near future, I hope to have a website up for my jewelry!  

CAROLYN D. ROBERTS

https://www.marykay.com/CRoberts12586

carolynr2000@yahoo.com

CASHAPP: $carolyndroberts

PAYPAL: paypal.me/carolyntparty

Thank you for supporting my business!  Please share my why with others! Thank you for your continued prayers and donations.

There is a go fund me account for donations.  I am not really sure how much might be needed, so am setting the dollar amount high.  We have medical bills, monthly bills, travel to and from the hospital, et cetera.  In the end I may not need as much as I am requesting.  I do know when I had the blood clot taken out of my leg, the insurance Explanation of Benefits showed more than $250,000.  So it is anyone’s guess how much I should put.

Specific prayers:

• Medicaid (applied for January 2025).
• Social Security Disability (applied for December 2025 with a lawyer).
• Surgical team with God’s umbrella over them before, during and after surgery.

My Mary Kay website is listed above, if you want to support me by buying some Mary Kay.  There are items for both men and women.

Thank you!

If you do not believe in God nor prayer, then hopefully my WHY will get you to meet God and accept him as your Saviour.

See, when I was about five years old in the 1970’s, I was a bus kid to West Meadows Baptist Church in Jacksonville, Florida.  I met my Saviour and accepted Him in my heart.  Fast forward to this year (2025).  I have been waiting on Medicaid (January 2025) and Social Security Disability (December 2024)to accept me.  Not having insurance would mean I probably either would not get my surgery or I would be limited to where I could get my surgery.  

On Sunday, April 6, 2025, I skipped church to go to the fair.  Something I rarely do anymore is skip church.  I was heading out of the fair and Hibernia Baptist Church had a booth and was giving out lollipops and my grandson could not make up his mind which one he wanted.  So I got to talking to the lady and gentleman about me being saved and playing the piano looking for a church to play at when we started talking about my health and me not having insurance nor a job or SSI, and the lady asked if she could pray for me right then and there, which I of course said yes.

Then the next day, Monday, April 7, 2025,  on the way in to my “Primary Care” visit, a lady was walking as bad as I was and we stopped to chat and once again my health and insurance issues came up, and she wanted to pray for me right there as well.

On Wednesday, April 9, 2025, we went to eat at Johnny’s BBQ and a group I knew from First Baptist Church in Keystone was there and I shared what was going on, and they put their hands on me and prayed as a group.

So today, April 10, 2025, I went for my last test before the Pulmonologist sent off my digital file out.  Walked thru TJ Maxx with my eldest daughter after my test, which was easy. Then I went to eat with some friends from the church I am currently attending.

When I got home the Pulmonologist said he was sending the file to Mayo and that he had talked to Mayo and there was a possibility they were going to do my surgery for free.  So now I am just waiting and praying.

On April 11, 2025, I received a call from Mayo Clinic’s Financial Office.  The lady said that if I did not have insurance I would be self-pay and they do not accept Medicaid.  If I went in as self-pay, I would need a down-payment of $5,000 just for my initial consultation.  If I chose not to continue after the initial consultation, I would be refunded minus what the consultation cost.  If I chose to continue, then I would have to keep coming up with money.  I am still praying that my Pulmonologist was correct; however, should he not be correct, then I pray God leads the way and shows me what to do and where to go.  I have let my Pulmonologist know what Mayo Clinic said and am waiting for him.

There is still gas money, monthly bills, food, and any other expenses that have to be paid.  Trying not to worry about any of it because God will fulfill all our needs.  I just have to keep trusting my Lord!

Update April 20, 2025:

No word from the doctors nor hospitals as yet.

Thank you to those who are donating via GO FUND ME and CASHAPP.

Social Security updated Friday, April 18, 2025, that my application has been sent to the Disability Determination Service (DDS) for a medical review. This is step three. I did find out that Step 4 is "A Representative completes a final review", and Step 5 is "We will send you a notice with a detailed explanation of our final decision".

Medicaid has still not finished nor sent me anymore communication after I uploaded the letter with carbon copy to the DOGE and to Governor Desantis on April 3, 2025, at 2:32 pm.  That was funny.  I never got to send the carbon copy because Department of Family and Children called the next day at April 4, 2025, at 8:10 am.  Of course, my answer from them was the Medicaid Department is still working on it.

Other than that, I am waiting patiently.  Trying to sell Mary Kay, homemade jewelry and crafts, and thinking of trying a hot dog stand and boiled peanuts.  It does not take much energy to wait for a pot of water to boil. I can use my oxygen while watching that.  Any other ideas, shoot me an email!

Update April 25, 2025:

I have a telehealth appointment on Tuesday.  Kindof excited and kindof nervous.

I want to put in a word right here that is not a part of the update.  I have had several ask me about Covid and the vaccine.  I do not have to share anything that I have shared so far and do not have to share this either.  Covid was a real thing and people died from it.  There are a lot of theories and a lot of facts from research.  Do I believe what I have wrong with me is caused by Covid or the vaccines, no. I had the blood clots prior to Covid.  The water surrounding my heart making my heart weak is caused by the blood clots.  Could Covid or the vaccines have made my issues or malady/disease/ailment worse?  i do not believe so and the doctors that I have asked have said no.  Only God knows 100-percent if Covid or the vaccines had anything at all to do with this.  Right now, that is the least of my worries and to dwell on it would be worrying me.  God says worry does not add to our days.

Matthew 6:34 KJV  “Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.”

Philippians 4:6-7 - Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

I have tried not to  worry and to keep everything in prayer.  I have provided as much information as I can.  While I am not an expert nor a doctor, I am not God either.  I am doing the best I can with what I know needs to be done.  I have asked my friends, family, and the public to share my plight and to help me to the best of their ability with fundraising.  If Medicaid does not come thru, then I have to find the funds to be self-pay.  Neither of the hospitals with do anything so far without some sort of funds and the surgery and the appointments leading up to and after and the medicines will not be cheap.  There is also the trips to either hospital and the gas, meals, and whatever else it will take for my little family to function and help me out before, during, and after my surgery along with my regular monthly bills.  It can be overwhelming to think about, and I try hard not to think about it.  So please keep sharing, praying, and helping when you can. 

Thanks and sorry for being so long-winded.

Update April 29, 2025:

Talked to the specialist at Advent Hospital today.  It all comes down to money with regard to having any type of surgery.  So as soon as I have Medicaid or some sort of insurance then they will set up for me to go be admitted in Orlando 2-3 days to be retested there to verify my need for surgery.  So the plan is for me to just stay on medicines for now.  She did say that it looked like my blood clots have gone down, but that my scar tissue looked significant.  So for now, I keep applying for jobs, keep hoping that my Social Security and Medicaid kick in, keep praying for miracles, because I still cannot walk very far without being out of breath.

Keep me in your prayers!

Update 4/30/2025:

Appointments today went well.  Nothing new.

Received a call from Social Security Disability to fill out some paperwork.  Was advised I should hear from Social Security Disability and Medicaid regarding a yes or no decision within approximately seven days!  Was told by a friend that they might give a decision, but if it is yes that it could take months to get the actual money.  Still praying! 

Update 5/6/2025:

Well, one step forward and two steps back.

Social Security called May 5, 2025, and said they are going to send me somewhere for a General Physical Exam and a back x-ray. I have to wait on them to send me the paperwork with locations and get it done.  One would think that with my heart getting weak and blood clots on the lungs that they would have enough paperwork to go through.  However, in God's time. 

I have asked people to help financially and I thank you for all you do.  However, until it comes thru I still need help.  I have been on job interviews, but have not been offered a job anywhere.  I am at a loss of what to do, because I am sure everyone is tired of seeing my gofundme and cashapp on their feeds on FB.

Just keep praying for a fast response for answers from God.

May 7, 2025 -

Just thought I would share some of the resources I have found.  Two of them are applications for grants to pay bills (anything but medical bills):

Community Resource(s) Notes:

The Meaghan Michelle Hicks Fund for Unmet Needs:  877-6-GO-HOPE https://www.teamphenomenalhope.org/programs/unmet-needs-patient-impact-fund/

The Blue Lips Foundation- 515-360-8061  https://www.bluelipsfoundation.org/beyond-blue-lips/ 

Pulmonary Hypertension Association- www.phassociation.org 

Update May 7, 2025:

My allergies are kicking my butt.  Had a fever Monday and Tuesday and now just dealing with the drainage.  Praying it does not turn into bronchitis/pneumonia.

Update May 8, 2025:

Gotta get my general physical exam done for Social Security on May 30th.  According to my lawyer, an approximate time to hear something from Social Security after that is 6-8 weeks.  That puts an approximate ETA of July 28th.

Update May 15, 2025:

General Physical exam will be done in Ocala. 

Update May 22, 2025:

Still waiting patiently to get my testing done for Social Security.

In the meantime, I am sitting at home with a bad tire on my van due to one of the lug nuts being stripped. I have rubber to put on the rim as soon as I get it off.

As soon as I can pay for an upgrade, I will be putting my jewelry for sale in the store on this website.  Please check it out. Please contact me at carolynr2000@yahoo.com to make a purchase.

Once again, thanks for any donations.  If you have questions, please contact me at carolynr2000@yahoo.com.  Thanks.

Update May 31, 2025:

Went to Ocala for the X-rays and Spirometry test yesterday, May 30, 2025.   Was a nice drive to and from Ocala on US 301. Traffic was not too bad even when I got into Ocala.  Everything went well.  The Spirometry test was hard because i don't have the lung capacity to blow in it anymore.  The test keep telling me to blow harder into the machine.  If I had to guess, I think you are supposed to blow in it about 30 seconds.  After the initial puff into the machine, the last 20 seconds was not very forceful at all and caused wheezing.  I had been asked during the exam if I had been diagnosed with COPD, but I believe my records said there was a possibility. (I do not always believe what I read, but the internet indicates possible COPD as well.) 

So the doctor said he would have the dictation done by Monday and according to him it could take up to three months for Social Security to make a decision or send me for more testing.  Pray that it is not that long.  I will lose my house and my van if it takes that long, especially if no one hires me or more donations do not come in.

Update June 23, 2025:

I know it is sooooo hard to be patient.  God has a reason.  Maybe someone will get saved and be ready for eternal life in Heaven with Jesus.  Maybe someone is going thru a similar situation and just needs to see that others go thru these situations as well.  I have had two real bad bouts of depression in the last two months. They are not easy.  More often than not people who go thru depression will not discuss it because they feel alone already.  Going thru this, the finances are shot along with any credit a person might have.  Homelessness and despair is the only thing in sight more often than not.  The feeling of no one cares is great because the gofundme and the cashapp and any other revenue of donations is not even being shared much less someone helping by donating. We can get thru this.  How?  I do not know.  But do not give up!!!  You may not see the forest for the trees, or the light at the end of the tunnel, or  the mountain for the valley, but in six months, a year, five years from now, you can look back and say you made it this far, however far that is!!!  

Do NOT give up!!!

Update June 30, 2025:

Another test being ordered by SS disability.  Have a good day!

Update July 2, 2025:

Here are ways to contact me or donate for my expenses (home mtg - $381, van payment - $577, electric bill - $261, cc and loan - $282, gas, et cetera).

Anything would be appreciated. I have not found anyone who will hire me while on oxygen.  I am waiting for SSDI and Medicaid still.  I am guessing still another 2-3 months, as they have ordered another test for me.  Please share my website, if nothing else.  The more it is shared and donations are sent, the less I have to pester for help.  I feel bad to have to ask to begin with.

https://www.marykay.com/CRoberts12586

carolynr2000@yahoo.com

CASHAPP: $carolyndroberts

PAYPAL: paypal.me/carolyntparty